Worst 40 Porn Adaptations of all time

What Makes a bad porn adaptation?
Before we can begin to identify the worst porn adaptations of all time, we need to first define what a bad porn adaptation is. Unlike real things, porn does not need to focus that much on plot or character development. No, the point of a porn adaptation is to get your rocks off with your favorite show and characters. Thus, the issue probably boils down to this: would most connoisseurs of porn consider the film to be jackoffable or jackawful.

According to Suou Tamaki's True Word, the following are the worst 40 porn adaptations ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* Tamaki does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise his numeration policy.


40.Yuuri and Wolfram's Adventures Through Candyland. The plot wasn't sweet enough. (Kyou Kara Maoh)

39. Satanic Sluts 5, Through the Back Door OF HELL! (School Days)
The Non-stop actions between Satan and his sluts Sekai, Kotonoha and Makoto(?).

38. War Of The Galactic Whores (Galaxy Angel)
Watch different sluts go at it then have long, boring lame-ass sex...

37. Sanzo sleeps All the way in an Unusual Sorority in the Blue Sea of Nirvana (Gensomaden Saiyuki)
This yaoi adaptation is bad 'cause has way too much porn for only 166 min. Experts agree that it should run for 540 min.

36. I know what you did all summer (Ichigo Mashimaro)
A side-story of Ichigo Mashimaro about the meaning of masturbation. Spoiler: The transexual with the British accent is actually voiced a Turkish actor !

35. Girl Gone Wild (Spice and Wolf)
Hot sexy girl on spring break are out of control as Holo returned to her normal state as a wolf when having sex with Lawrence.

34. Code GayAss (Code Geass)
Watch Lelouch and Suzaku 'get down to business" with their gay friends. best part of this show is no female characters!

33. I Can Feel it Coming in the Air Tonight (Touka Gettan)

32. The Sisters Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Sequel to The Fullmetal Alchemist, in which the brothers dress up as their non-existent sisters.

31. Lancelot Gets Lanced A Lot (Code Geass)
A robot porn which Lancelot get speared by other mechs.

30. Your Body and You - Part 2, Coitus and Reproduction (Black Jack 21)
Describes the mechanics of human sexual intercourse, using only cheap animated stills. Most noted for a lack of a money shot.

29. Osaka and Chiyo Goes to the Red Light District (Azumanga Daioh)
The bumbling Osaka and Chiyo accidentally stumbles upon a life of crime, sex, and dirty money. Hilarity ensues.

28. Lord of the Cock Rings - The Two Ta-Ta's (Gravitation)
Spin-off to Gravitaion. Shuichi performs a "Helm's Deep" on Yuki (please don't use your imagination).

27. The Flash (Strawberry Panic)
Low budget. Shizuma is alone with a trenchcoat try to impress other girls. Barely porn.

26. The Man in Me (Maria-sama ga Miteru)
The first and last trilogy of Sei's life groping other girls.

25. Pokemon Bukkake! (Pokemon)
Pikachu tries to get 'em all.

24. Bread Fetish (Yakitate Japan!, Clannad)
What some women do with their roquefort - you'll be left hungry after their performance.

23. Innuendo (Gakuen Heaven)
Geneon's foray into soft-soft-core yaoi porn. Lots of vague talking by fully clothed young men sitting on bed. Each scene ends with the camera panning to the right and going slowly out of focus.

22. Five Go Mad in Dorking (Hidamari Sketch)
Ume Aoki's only foray into the hardcore market sees Yuno, Miyako, Sae, Hiro joined by Yoshinoya-sensei for a rollicking adventure in the sex club.

21. Animal Fun (Minami-ke Okawari)
A series of clips involving various scenes when Chiaki have sex with the hamster in her classroom. Widely considered to have led to the creation of the Animal Rights movement.

20. Makoto's List (School Days)
A static film which only show Makoto's list of the girls he had sex with.

19. Nun on Viagra (Kannazuki no Miko)
Exciting conclusion to the Kannazuki no Miko sees Sister Miyako getting back into her old habits. Guaranteed to send you directly to Hell upon death (whichever comes first, pardon the pun).

18. Your P*nis is a Warm Gun (Touka Gettan)
Touka discovers his mother's habit.

17. Fantastic Foursome (Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu)
Haruhi and 3 girls, one whose really hot, one whos always hard and one who can stretch any part of his body. Doesn't take a genius to figure the plot of this.

16. The Ladies Man (One Piece)
This adaptation is the first time a Saturday Night Live skit of Sanji has been spun off into a porno movie. Like many movies of a similar stripe, it sucked.

15. Sex Toy Story (Minami-ke)
Kana and Chiaki discovered Haruka's sex toys and decided to use on their friends and each other. Hilarity ensues.

14. The Love Boat (School Days)
A documentary of Makoto and severed Kotonoha's head on his yacht. Makoto killed Kotonoha and cut her head off instead letting Kotonoha do so. Unfortunately it contains scenes of Makoto try to perform blowjob on Kotonoha's head.

13. Creamer Versus Creamer (Venus Versus Virus)
Good Lord, it's everywhere.

12. The Bitches on the Sand (H2O: Footprints in the Sand)
Do I need to explain?

11. Kindaichi and the Mystery of the Cockless Murder (Kindaichi Shounen no Jikenbo)

10. Japanese History XXX (Doraemon)
Nobita learns the descendants of Susanoo shag their way through the struggle against Orochi, The Civil War, World War I & II, Vietnam and the Gulf War through the time machine.

9. The President's Diaries (Code Geass)
A 2.5 hour long glimpse into the Milly Ashford's diaries with guys and girls she had sex with.

8. Sin City (Trinity Blood)
At the Vatican, a previously chaste nun(Sister Esther Blanchett) discovers just what miraculous powers the Pope is really endowed with.

7. The Dominatrix (Azumanga Daioh)
In a world controlled by Microwave ovens, is it even possible to get a real erection? Be sure to take the red pill.

6. Japanese Cream Pie (Yakitate Japan)
This time Kazuma is really going to get it.

5. The Horny Grail (Fate/Stay Night)
Shiro and Saber get down and dirty...

4. Catholic Schoolgirls get Down Under (Maria-sama ga Miteru)
The same tired old plaid skirts turned upside down, notable for a total lack of Catholic schoolgirls.

3. Grannies Get Gorey 2033 (Higurashi no Naku Koro ni)
Set Hinamizawa 50 years after the show ends. Rena, now an old lady is alone and try to have sex with any men she cand find, with their blood.

2. Done in Sixty Seconds (Fullmetal Alchemist)
Edward is forced back into the industry and must have sex 50 women in one night to save his brother's life.

1. Four Crossdressers and a Sexchange (Ouran High School Host Club)
The hit series Six Feet Under finally comes of age to the big screen with some controversial porn stars doing female characters. Widely panned and critised for been "derivative" in nature.